My 6 year old daughter went to her friend’s birthday party the other day.  It was at an ice skating rink and my wife Sabrina accompanied her there, since my daughter doesn’t drive yet (she doesnt make coffee yet either but we’re working on that ).  My daughter had only skated once before with me last year and Sabrina hasn’t skated for years and years.  Balance isn’t exactly her forte anyway (sorry babe - had to do it)

My daughter was nervous about going because she was afraid that everyone else would be better skaters and wouldn’t skate with her so she’d be left alone (you know moms and dads don’t count in these situations.) But we told her to do her best and all the other encouraging things that parents say to 6 year olds to get them to try things.

When they came home, I asked my daughter how it was and she said it was GREAT! I asked her how she did and if the others skated with her and she gave an emphatic YES! She explained that  after she fell down a few times, she started to get better and, by the end, she was skating faster than a lot of the other kids. I gave her a big hug.

I asked her how her mommy did and she laughed. She said that ‘mommy skated so funny!’ When I asked her why she replied, (deep breath) “because she was afraid to fall down, so mommy skated the whole time trying not to fall down, and I told her, ‘Mommy, just fall down! It doesn’t hurt’ but mommy didnt want to fall down so she kept skating really funny and looked all bent over like this, and I was skating so much faster than her and…” (whew) You get the point. She can talk , that little one.

Anyway, through the shared belly laughs, the wisdom of what she said hit me right away.  Mommy was skating to not fall down.  My daughter was initially afraid, so she didnt want to even try it.  But with help from her support system (i.e. Us at first and then her friends), once she got there and got on the ice, she let it rip.  My wife was a little nervous at first too for different reasons.  However, she didn’t get over that hump because she didn’t go for it, preferring to stay bunched up in a defensive position, slightly hunched forward, like a new deer learning how to walk.  By the end, my daughter was skating circles around her.  Safety aside, there’s a lesson in there.

Therefore, in looking at my own crazy fears and life, I have decided to make this the year that I fall down…a lot! All the things I’ve been afraid to try - the new programs I want to create and lead, the bigger game I want to play, etc. I have been afraid to make mistakes or look foolish or be judged incompetent, etc.  I’ve been skating not to fall down.

So this is the year to really get on the path. I will keep getting up however, no matter how sore my rear end gets.  As the saying goes, the key to life is falling down 7 times but getting up 8.  And so I will. 

Of course I’ll wear my helmet - it’s not about being reckless.

But if I’m fortunate to have good health and energy, strong support around me, my sense of humor, and a little luck, I may just end the year being as wise as my 6 year old daughter.

Happy New Year!

- BTW: For a slightly different perspective on this, see this month’s newsletter at http://www.jaffelifedesign.com/the-wakeup-call-newsletter.htm 

Speak with you soon

-mj

Don’t forget to share with us all the ways you intend to fall down on your butt this year! Reply to this blog and let us know!