The WakeUp Call Newsletter
The Voice of the WakeUp Revolution!
November 2006 Issue

Welcome to the November issue of The WakeUp Call - The Voice of the WakeUp Revolution!

November is a time for giving thanks to those around us. Yet just as important as giving ‘thanks’ is offering an acknowledgment to those who have played a part in crafting this dramatic comedy called “Our Life.”

This Thanksgiving, let us acknowledge our daily courage, kindness and community. And let us be present to the fact that although we may be wrestling with our own struggles and storms, we are not facing the same daily perils of those pilgrims who gathered at Ye Meeting House, on Ye Hill, on Thursday, November 29th, 1623 and began this tradition. On that first Thanksgiving, Plymouth Colony Governor William Bradford gave thanks to their Great Father for providing an abundant harvest, for protection from the ‘ravages of the savages’, for sparing them from pestilence and disease, and for the freedom to worship God according to the dictates of their own conscience – all things we surely take for granted today in this country.

And so, in this month’s featured story (read below), we focus on an important distinction – ‘acknowledgment.’ Next month we’ll cover the second half of the ‘Thank You’ equation and learn why accepting an acknowledgement is the same as giving a gift – perfect for the holidays, and much less expensive. J

Until then, I wish you an abundant harvest filled with love, laughter, peace, possibility and lots of gravy!

- Mike

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Quote of the Month

“How easily we can forget how precious life is! So long as we can remember, we’ve just been here, being alive. Unlike other things for which we have a comparison – black to white, day to night, good to bad – we are so immersed in life that we can see it only in the context of itself. We don’t see life as compared to anything, to not-being, for example, to never having been born. Life just is.

But life itself is a gift. It’s a compliment just being born: to feel, breathe, think, play, dance, sing, work, make love, for this particular lifetime.

Today, let’s give THANKS for life. For life itself! For simply being born!”

- Daphne Rose Kingma

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FEATURED STORY

I begin this article with part of a story from a friend of mine whose situation is keenly relevant for this holiday…

“…My wake up came when my wife became very ill and hospitalized. The doctors first diagnosed the problems as ovarian cancer. For 24 hours I thought the worst and wondered what my daughter and I would do without her mommy. The physicians at the hospital then advised they were wrong and diagnosed the issues as Fibromyalgia and Lupus, not good but better than cancer! It was an eye opening experience.

I understood almost immediately how ungrateful I had been for the things and people in my life. I was determined to change. It has not been an easy paradigm shift, but by using some common sense techniques and setting realistic expectations, I have progressed nicely. I decided to enjoy what I had and if I was not happy with something, change it.

Looking back, I am happy to have learned the great lesson of gratitude. My wife is doing better and my daughter is growing like a weed!”   - Q.R.

Yes, gratitude. On this holiday of Thanksgiving, we raise a glass and offer thanks to those around us, those we love, those who’ve supported us and those no longer with us. It is a beautiful notion and my favorite holiday.

It is so easy to take these things for granted on most days but every once in a while, like a holiday, we gain that awareness to look at what I call the ‘positive space.’ We are thankful for what we have and who we are.

But on other days, it is far too easy to focus only on what’s missing or what we’re not doing. This is what I call the “Gap Trap.”

We hold ourselves to some unfair notion of perfection and constantly punish ourselves for not meeting this unrealistic ideal. That is what happens when we constantly focus on the gap. And boy, are we good at beating ourselves up. It’s one of our favorite pastimes! It does wonders for our self esteem and confidence too, making it that much harder to venture out of our narrow comfort zones in our daily adventures.

Look closely at my friend’s story above. Within those paragraphs, in one sentence, he shares the secret to life. Can you find it?

He says, “I decided to enjoy what I had and if I was not happy with something, change it.”

Wow. That’s it - right there. Enjoy what you have and if you don’t like something, change it. It seems so simple. So how come it is so difficult to do consistently? Once he was faced with the thought of losing the one person he loved more than anyone else it put everything into crystal clear perspective for him. All the griping, the dissatisfaction, the selfishness, GONE! Fortunately, in this case, they were spared from a tragic ending.

But even so, I’m sure there has been some settling down since that time and at least a little of the complaining and lack of gratitude has returned even at a lower volume (right Q?)

So how do you stay present to that gift of awareness and perspective?

One way I’ve found that works is creating a ritual around two important distinctions that are inferred in that story: Acknowledgment and Accountability. We’ll tackle the latter, later.

Acknowledging Yourself and Those Around You

The first, Acknowledgement, is a very simple yet powerful use of language that can completely shift your perspective on something. What exactly is an acknowledgment? In the beginning of most books, one of the first things you read is the author’s acknowledgment. Here is where he or she names all the people that played a role in their being able to write that book. Whether it was actual editing and publishing it, or inspiring the author or even just supporting him or her through the process. The book wouldn’t have been the same without each of those individuals playing their part and contributing something to the author.

We define acknowledgment as honoring a process without regard for the actual outcome or a measurement of success. When you bring the outcome or measurement into play, it becomes a ‘Thank You.’ An acknowledgment is more about the process.

Acknowledgment also focuses on the positive space – who have you been and what have you done. Not the opposite which we so often focus on.

The first ritual is to acknowledge yourself every day for a week for all the little things, big things, and other things you normally take for granted.

Let’s practice. For me, I acknowledge myself for getting up early this morning even though I wanted to stay in bed. I acknowledge myself for getting dressed and kissing my wife and kids before I left for work; for making a sales call downtown even though I had a full schedule midtown, for providing value to each client I worked with today; for taking a 15 minute walk at lunch to take care of myself (couldn’t get to the gym today); for having salad with my otherwise not completely healthy lunch; and for calling some friends to set up our Turkey Bowl football game for Friday. I’m sure I could come up with a lot more.

I also could have just as easily focused on the negative space – I should have gotten more sleep, I’m tired, I have to commute 2 hours to NYC today, I should have made more business calls, I should have called more friends and called them earlier in the week, I should have gone to the gym. ‘Should’ is a dangerous word.

You can see the difference. Same situations, same day, different perspectives. How do you feel after you read each one? I know it’s only playing with language but it really makes a difference to your brain and your outlook. In the first, I was focusing on the positive space and acknowledging myself for everything I did and who I was.

In the second, I was ‘should’ing all over myself. Quite messy.

It may seem strange and even uncomfortable seeing me acknowledge myself and you may feel the same at first when you do it for yourself. It’s almost as if we’re not permitted to acknowledge ourselves because it isn’t humble or modest or some other logical and justified excuse. But believe me, we need to acknowledge ourselves so much more than we do. It’s not about anyone else – just ourselves. This is not bragging or conceit – don’t present it that way. In fact, you don’t have to acknowledge yourself to anyone else but you.

Now it’s your turn. Simply focus on all of the things you actually did do or the ways you were being, separate from the outcomes that occurred. If you think about it, I’m sure you can acknowledge yourself for hundreds of things you’ve done today! Yes, I’m serious. We discount so many things. But it all counts. You got up. You got dressed (most of you J). You washed your face and brushed your teeth (again, most of you L). You went to work, maybe at a less than ideal job, but you went anyway because you are taking care of yourself and your family. (Remember what Q said - "if I was not happy with something, change it.”)

I’ve barely scratched the surface so far.

If you find yourself drifting towards berating yourself for your gaps, stop and reset. For example, instead of beating yourself up for only exercising once this week, acknowledge yourself for figuring out a way to get a workout in despite your crazy schedule! By shifting the focus, you create positive momentum that carries you into the next week instead of feeding the trash talk in your head which only serves to sabotage your intentions.

On this day of giving thanks, don’t forget to acknowledge those who’ve played a role in your own story. And please don’t forget to acknowledge yourself.

And so, as we began with a story, so too will we end with one…

A few months back, upon leaving my house, my radiant 91 year old gram says to me, “Michael my darling, I wish you good fortune and good health…good health first.”

That was the same lesson my friend in the story above learned all too quickly.

And so to all of you, for this holiday season and for many more to come, I wish for you to have the perspective to acknowledge your life and the courage to be accountable for it.

Thanks for playing…

mj

Your assignment if you choose to accept it:

Aside from a special event like a birthday or anniversary or Thanksgiving, we have no acknowledgment section in which to honor all the people that play a part in that book called My Life. Think of all the people that have played some role in your life. Even those whose company you didn’t enjoy – they still played a part.

• Make a list of people who you want to acknowledge for anything at all. Before the Thanksgiving feast, share your list and why you are acknowledging them to the group. The person doesn’t have to be there to get acknowledged by you.

• Be accountable for making it the best holiday you and your family/friends have ever had. Who do you need to be to make that happen? What do you need to do? Why not now and why not you?

• Acknowledge yourself. You are awesome! Whether you currently feel that way or not. Make a list of 100 alright…only 50 things you want to acknowledge yourself for. I mean it. 50 things is not hard once you get rolling. It may feel strange at first but by the end you should feel pretty good about yourself.

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Technology Coach joins Jaffe Life Design!

Stan Golanka, a home computing expert, has joined the JLD family. With 30 years of helping people use technology, Stan will leave you empowered and not intimidated by your own computer.

Stan specializes in coaching on and directly providing hardware and software setup and troubleshooting, virus removal and protection, data backup, setting up home networks and small scale web design.
 
For more information on these and other valuable services Stan provides, email him at stan@jaffelifedesign.com.

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Professional Speaking

DOES YOUR BUSINESS NEED A WAKEUP CALL?

In Mike’s motivating and powerful talks, participants learn what it takes to make real and lasting changes in their businesses and their lives.

 All of Mike’s keynotes can be customized to meet your organization’s needs.

We are taking bookings now for Spring and Summer 2007.

Please contact us today to lock in your space and see what’s possible for your organization!

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Overheard In the WakeUp Room…   Blog Digest for November 2006

• The first proclamation of Thanksgiving

• Grace Mauzy, a Parenting Coach, shares her thoughts on Thanksgiving…

Share Your Thoughts!

Share your thoughts on what Thanksgiving means to you, or leave a message to a loved one and to the world.  Although Thanksgiving is a traditional merican holiday, people everywhere could all use a dose.

Share Your Thoughts here  

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Tenets of the WakeUp Revolution:

It’s realizing that life is a gift,
and every single day counts!

It’s looking forward and saying 'what now,
' not looking back saying ‘I wish I had’!

It’s designing your life the way you want it to be,
so life doesn’t just ‘happen’ to you!

It’s believing in the possibility of your desired life,
not a life of compromises!

It’s remembering what's really important,
so you can slow down and breathe again!

It’s having courage to take small steps now,
instead of watching days slip past!

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© 2006 Jaffe Life Design LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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If you want to use this month’s article on your website or your own ezine that’s great! However, you MUST include the following info at the end (that’s fair right?)

“Mike Jaffe is a Human Wake-Up Call and the founder of the Wake-Up Revolution!^TM For more information on Mike’s powerful and insightful speaking, coaching and workshops, or to receive Mike’s inspirational audio course "7 Steps to Wake Up and Live An Extraordinary Life!", visit www.jaffelifedesign.com.”